♫ Monday, September 12, 2011
Every now and then.
Every now and then, this weird feeling comes to me.
It's been a long time but I felt it coming.
Makes me feel lost and like most of the things I'm doing is pointless.
Been keeping a lot of things to myself, every since last year to be exact.
And everytime something happens, I smile and laugh it off like it's not a big deal. Put it in a box and lock it up to be dealt with later. And later never comes.
The signs are there, I'm over-happy most of the time, more hyper then usual. Because it's getting harder and harder to ignore each and everyday.
I teared up in class last friday. And that was like the first crack in my emotional dam.
I can feel it wanting to break soon.
I'm trying to plaster it all up wishing that the clouds would take all the troubles away.
And then let it rain down somewhere else.
But that's never gonna happen.
Everyone's stressed out.
I'm no where near passing my papers.
I don't feel a connection with anyone anymore.
And suddenly, I'm stuck in my head feeling like I'm going nowhere.
I find one thing funny in all this mayhem.
Everyone in my family knows the true reason why we didn't go out to meet our relatives that day..
Its not because Mom couldn't get away from work.
Its not because Dad needed to catch up on his rent.
And my sister could've gone out herself to see a few relatives like she did before.
Thats all excuses so they wouldn't have to say the real reason.
I did whisper it to myself that day..
We always visited his house first.
But he's not there anymore.
10:04 PM
